I took 5 months off my project of photographing everything I ate (I know you missed me) - but I'm back, and since I'm doing the videos on a monthly basis and not a weekly one, the videos are going to have somewhat more interesting content.

I'm skipping the mundane - the bag of chips, the pint of Metamucil, the morning cup of coffee.  I'm also having a little more fun with photography, trying different filters (I dumped the Blackberry and got an Android phone), and different angles. 

You may notice duelling bottles of hot sauce, I'm working on an article called "Rooster Vs. Rooster," which pits the Thai-style Sriracha against a Louisiana hot sauce called Red Rooster.  Stay tuned.

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Halloween Costume FAIL

The idea of slapping the term "FAIL" onto the title of something whenever someone does something wrong, nonsensical, or outright stupid is now a meme.  A FAIL is usually funny, sometimes humiliating, and often painful.  

A meme is a unit of culture.  A meme can be nearly anything; a phrase, a jingle, a logo, a practice.  They propagate, survive, spread, are imitated, mutate, and sometimes find themselves extinct.  Memes are the units by which ideas are transfered from one person to another; when they spread rapidly, it is said they turn viral. 

The FAIL Blog was created in January 2008 to document these FAILs and has quite the monopoly on those pictures and videos which exemplify the FAIL at its best.  If you haven't heard of them, check out their blog and/or download their iPhone app.

 

Here is our list of the Top 10 Food and Cooking-Related FAIL Videos, sante.

 

10. Cooking FAILs! - from OriginalNakedChef

"We're going to make mashed potato, one of the simplest things in the world to do."  Unfortunately, it takes 30 takes and a whole hard drive of digital memory.  This is why we haven't posted many videos on Papawow.

 

9. Cooking Show FAIL - from failblog (picking on Sarah Lee)

[pulls meatloaf out of oven] "Look at that," says Sarah.  Yea Sarah?  It looks like you cleaned the elephant cage at the Los Angeles Zoo.  Don't tell me you're going to serve that.

 

8. McDonald's FAIL - from failblog

Mmm, Deep Fried Chicken Head.  Well, maybe it did come from the McDonalds in Chinatown.  I like how it had the comb and the wattles intact.  Delicious.

 

7. Baking FAIL - from meatwadisemo

Note to burgeoning Food Network Star.  Next time you try and batter your hair, use a stand mixer... that would be far more hilarious.

 

6. Pizza Delivery Fail - from failblog

I doubt this is real, but we have all been miffed in one way or another by having our pizza delivered.  Maybe not this bad though.

 

5. Chef Rage FAIL - from failblog

This is pretty gangsta.  We've all had bosses we wished someone would have lit up like that.

 

4. Food Critic FAIL - from failblog

Just goes to show that being a guest judge on a cooking show does not alow you to make up your own words.  Having a lot of peas does not make something have "much pea-ness going on."

 

3. BBQ FAIL - from TheDarkSoldier09

Rule #1 about BBQ:  Don't use a gas can to stoke the fire.  There are better ways to get it going when it smolders.

 

2. Food Network nuts FAIL - from thebigflashbomb

"Everyone's going to love snacking on my nuts."

 

 

1. Three Sheets with Zane Lamprey - from FineLivingNetwork (not a FAIL unto itself, but there are several fails inside and who doesn't like Zane Lamprey and all his nonsense?)

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CategoriesHumor, Videos

Chelada Turkey Tacos

A Chelada is the name for the drink when you add lime and salt to a beer.  Sometimes people add hot sauce, herbs and spices, sometimes tomato juice, sometimes even Clamato.  They are also called Micheladas and what you may have gathered by now is that they're no real rules beyond salt and lime.

Well, ever since the weather started to warm up here in San Diego, we've been making more and more cheladas.  So when Honeysuckle White approached us to come up with a grilled turkey recipe, Chelada Turkey Tacos came immediately to mind.  They sent us the turkey and they even sent us a Flip HD camcorder to make videos.  Boo-yah!

The Chelada Turkey Tacos encompass four recipes:  the Chelada brine, a Roasted Corn Salsa, the Chipotle Sour Cream Sauce, and Alfredo's Tortillas.  Make each separately and assemble them to order, grill-side, for some delicious summertime BBQ-ing. 

The morning of, we butterflied the turkey, removed the backbone, and quartered it.  This would allow for the turkey to grill more evenly since the dark meat takes slightly longer to cook than the breast.  We then made a chelada brine to season the meat and to keep the meat moist on the grill. Here is a video on how to make the Chelada Brine:

Chelada Brine from Papawow on Vimeo.

Chelada Brine

  • 32 ounces V8 or tomato juice
  • 2 beers, Mexican beer works best
  • 3/4 cup freshly squeezed lime juice plus the zest from the limes
  • 1/2 cup of salt
  • 1/4 cup of sugar
  • 1 tablespoon of dried Mexican oregano
  • 5 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, smashed well

Once the meat has spent 2-3 hours in the brine it is ready for the grill.  Place the meat on a hot grill and cook, turning occasionally until the meat is done.  This can be anywhere between 25-45 minutes depending on the thickness of the meat and the temperature of your grill.  Turkey should be cooked to an internal temperature of 180 degrees F.

When the turkey goes on begin to roast your corn and red bell pepper for the Roasted Corn Salsa.  Go ahead and shred some cabbage and prepare the Chipotle Sour Cream Sauce also.  Make sure to keep the sour cream sauce in the fridge or cooler until it is ready to serve.

I'll be honest, the star of this recipe and the key to making them absolutely amazing is "Alfredo's" tortillas.  Alfredo was a guy in Mexico who taught my friend's father the technique of dipping the tortillas into a dressing before you grill them.  There is nothing quite like it.  

We didn't make Alfredo's exact recipe, we modified it to pair more closely with the Chelada turkey but the technique remains.  Below is our recipe and at the end of the post I will give the original Alfredo dip.

Alfredo's Dip (our version)

  • 1 cup soy sauce
  • 1 cup canola oil
  • 1/2 cup lime juice
  • 1 tablespoon sesame seeds
  • 6 cloves garlic, smashed and minced
  • 1 tablespoon seasoned salt
  • 1 teaspoon pepper

Simply dip the tortillas into Alfredo's for 2 seconds on each side before throwing them on the grill.  Cook them, turning once, for about 60 seconds a side.  Plate and fill with toppings for tacos or burritos. 

Roasted Corn Salsa

  • 2 cobs of corn, shucked and grilled until they become spotty with grill marks, the cut from the cob
  • 1 red bell pepper, grilled and diced fine
  • The juice of one lime
  • 2 tablespoons finely minced cilantro
  • Salt and pepper

Mix all of these together and set aside in a bowl.  This is a wonderful universal salsa that goes great on almost everything.

 

Chipotle Sour Cream Sauce (printable recipe)

  • 2 chipotle peppers in adobo sauce, smashed up fine plus 1 Tablespoon of adobo sauce
  • 1 cup sour cream
  • 1 cup plain yogurt
  • Juice of 1 lime
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 teaspoon pepper

Incorporate all of the ingredients and fill a squirt bottle with them.  You may need a funnel to fill the bottle.  Keep the sauce refrigerated or in the cooler until you are ready to eat.   

How to assemble a Chelada Turkey Taco:

How to assemble a Chelada Turkey Taco from Papawow on Vimeo.

Once the turkey is done, shred it into bite-sized pieces.  Shred some cabbage.  Dip a tortilla, grill for a minute or two, add some turkey, the cabbage, the Roasted Corn Salsa, and squirt some of the Chipotle Sour Cream Sauce on top and you have yourself a Chelada Turkey Taco!

Enjoy!

Alfredo's Original Tortilla Dipping Sauce (which is also a marinade)

  • 1 cup soy sauce
  • 1 cup corn oil
  • 1 cup fresh lime juice
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper
  • 1 teaspoon season salt
  • 1 teaspoon lemon pepper
  • 1 teaspoon sea salt
  • 1 teaspoon garlic
  • up to 1 cup sesame seeds
  • 1 teaspoons Lea & Perrin's Worcestershire Sauce
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We are moving from San Francisco and had to clean out the cupboard.  What we aren't taking with us we are going to have to toss, donate, or give to friends.

We will donate the non-perishable, canned, sealed, jarred, etc.  That which was un-donate-able (opened) but otherwise still quite delicious will be passed on to friends in the neighborhood.  Here is a collection of what we will miss.

 

Oh, contrary to popular belief, chocolate does go bad.  Especially white chocolate in this house.

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CategoriesVideos
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Artificial pork made from pig's stem cells.  Boy that sounds delicious.  Don't hold your breath folks, scientists say it will be at least 5 years before the meat is suitable for sausage... but what about bacon?  Could that process be expedited? 

 

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
We Did It! - Artificial Meat
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Health Care Crisis

 

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CategoriesHumor, Videos

Splat by ant.photos

We've all likely been there.  At the BBQ, camping, or maybe on a boat.  There sits the bottle of wine... and no one brought a corkscrew.  The thoughts that go through people's heads.  The tools they use.  We humans are very creative creatures, especially when there is booze involved (think Legend of Zelda-themed party ice luge). 

There's the Wikihow on how to open a wine bottle without a corkscrew.  They illustrate a technique using a screw, a screwdriver, and a pair of pliers (pulling it out, caveman-style) or a hammer (using a first-class lever which is much more civilized).  

They outline the old pocket knife method, the wire coat hanger, the

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Jon Stewart gives Condé Nast some advise.  Combine all four magazines that they are cancelling: Elegant Bride, Modern Bride, Cookie (a parenting magazine) and Gourmet into into one super mag.

Jon Stewart's Pregnant Gourmet Bride

In the first issue they would feature a tremendous morning sickness cure involving haricot vert, cornichon, and truffle oil...

 

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Pregnant Gourmet Bride Magazine
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
Full Episodes
Political Humor Ron Paul Interview
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A la Rube Goldberg, this rediculous contraption dubbed "Falling Water" was built by Joseph Herscher who, by my guess, must either not be employed, be an idiot savant, not have a girlfriend, or "D" all of the above.  In any case, it is really cool to watch.

 

This is another contraption he built in order to smash a Cadburry Cream Egg called "Cream That Egg."  At the end of the video he states that the video was made, "With Support from The World's Most Tolerant Flatmates, 30 Sticks of Hot Glue, and 480 Pints."

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CategoriesHumor, Videos

If you haven't heard if Improv Everywhere yet, this is a great example of what they do.  They are self-described as, "[causing] scenes of chaos and joy in public places. Created in August of 2001 by Charlie Todd, Improv Everywhere has executed over 80 missions involving thousands of undercover agents."

Here is another [non food-related] example.

 

 

Buy their book, Causing a Scene: Extraordinary Pranks in Ordinary Places with Improv Everywhere for as little as $9.99 via Amazon.

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CategoriesHumor, Videos

Called a viral mini-epic short film about war, Food Fight is the work of Stefan Nadelman of Tourist Pictures.  He has done many ads and short flicks, some of which can be watched on his website including spots he's done for, Saturday Night Live, Volkswagen, Maple Leaf Foods, and Mike & Ike candy.

Food Fight takes through some of the more infamous moments of WWII all the way up to the United States' current conflicts in the Middle East.  Pretzels gun down matzo with their salt.  Hamburgers destroy everything by shooting their pickles.  Sushi rolls turn into kamikaze.

It'll make you laugh, it'll make you cry, but in the end Food Fight shows us how fear for food safety... well, fear for our food's safety.  Stefan Nadelman is primarily in the field of motion graphics for film, music videos, and broadcast. Tourist Pictures is located in Portland, Oregon.

Pop up some popcorn and enjoy the show.

 

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Authordavid koch
CategoriesHumor, Videos

Snap, Crackle and Pop are all brothers and they are elves.  They were adapted from Kellogg's radio ad and were first illustrated by Vernon Grant in 1933.

Snap is the oldest and is the problem solver, fixing what his two brothers create.  Snap sports a chef's hat.  Crackle is the fun-loving middle child.  Crackle is also the leader of the group and the supposedly, smartest of the three. Crackle wears a red-and-white-striped hat.  Pop is the jokester, youngest elf; Pop doesn’t take anything seriously and he wears a band leader's hat.

According to Mental Floss Magazine (2008) "A Second Helping of Cereal Facts" there was a fourth brother, Pow.  - "In the 1950s, [Pow] was supposed to represent Rice Krispies’ explosive nutritional value.  Sadly, four proved to be one cereal gnome too many, and Pow was given the pink slip."

I grew up on Rice Krispies, usually heaping three or four tablespoons of granulated sugar atop each bowl.  I enjoyed the ads as a youngster, but who knows, maybe I would have enjoyed them 33% more had there been Pow...

Interestingly enough, the names Snap, Crackle, and Pop are changed from country to country in order to better fit into each culture, this process is called glocalization.  Here are some of them (via the Wiki):

  • Belgium - Pif! Paf! Pof!
  • Canadian French - Cric! Crac! Croc!
  • Denmark - Pif! Paf! Puf!
  • Finland - Poks! Riks! Raks!
  • Germany - Knisper! Knasper! Knusper!
  • Holland - Pif! Paf! Pof!
  • Italy - Pif! Paf! Pof!
  • Mexico - Pim! Pum! Pam!
  • Norway - Piff! Paff! Puff!
  • South Africa - Knap! Knaetter! Knak!
  • Sweden - Piff! Paff! Puff!
  • Switzerland - Piff! Paff! Poff!
  • United Kingdom - The mascots were portrayed, for a while, as cows instead of gnomes.

 

What's your favorite? - I like South Africa's...

 

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From the folks who brought us the Guacamole Song, Rhett and Link, comes the BBQ song.  I wish I had enough talent to write funny jingles about food... oh, that would be the life.  These two are quite talented and, I believe, are even sponsored by Alka Seltzer.  Brilliant!

Best quote from the song?

"Alabama has the strangest thing I've seen in my barbecue days

their barbecue sauce is WHITE, made out of mayonnaise"

 

 

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CategoriesHumor, Videos

 

The Associated Press reports that Austria's health ministry found detectable traces of cocaine samples of Red Bull Cola energy drinks... keep in mind that this is Red Bull's Cola and not their ubiquitous Energy Drink.  They use the Coca leaf as a flavoring but are supposed to remove any cocaine.

Before you go out and buy a case, Red Bull Spokeswoman says that any traces are very slight and do not pose a health risk; and the company maintains that its Cola is "harmless and marketable in both the U.S. and Europe."

So how much did they find? - 0.4 micrograms/liter.

To put things in perspective, the EPA allows a maximum threshold of arsenic in drinking water of 10 micrograms/liter.  That's 25 times more than how much cocaine the Austrians found. 

 

 

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Authordavid koch
The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Michael Pollan
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Keyboard Cat

 

Author Michael Pollan goes on the Colbert Report to explain how the food-industrial complex is destroying what we eat by processing and synthesizing it.  He opines on how reducing a complex food down to a single component is fundamentally detrimental to our health.

One of the tenets of his newest book, In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto, is to only buy things with "5 ingredients or less."  He is steadfast that this is the most simple method for reducing the amount of synthetic food in our diets.

Interestingly, I recently tried Häagen-Dazs' new ice cream that is actually called five.  They boast that it only contains five ingredients: milk, cream, sugar, egg yolks... and then whatever flavor it is.  They make it in make Mint, Coffee, Vanilla, Ginger, Passion Fruit, Brown Sugar, and Chocolate and it's good!

Some of the highlights of the Colbert clip include Michael admitting to eating Yodels; how he got "busted" at the supermarket buying Fruity Pebbles, and he blasts infant formula but his mom is in the audience - and she tells him that he wasn't breast fed.  Zing!

 

 

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The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
Stephen's Fancy Feast
colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor Gay Marriage

 

Stephen Colbert did again last night, making me laugh out loud in the dark, way past my bedtime.  He told America about a recent study done by the American Association of Wine Economists (AAWE) titled, "Can People Distinguish Pâté from Dog Food?"  I think this would be perfect for an Ig Nobel Prize...

 

This is pure science at its finest.  Taken from the Abstract:

"Considering the similarity of its ingredients, canned dog food could be a suitable and inexpensive substitute for pâté or processed blended meat products such as Spam or liverwurst. However, the social stigma associated with the human consumption of pet food makes an unbiased comparison challenging.

To prevent bias, Newman's Own dog food was prepared with a food processor to have the texture and appearance of a liver mousse. In a double-blind test, subjects were presented with five unlabeled blended meat products, one of which was the prepared dog food...

 

The samples included:

  1. Canned Turkey & Chicken Formula for Puppies/Active Dogs (Newman's Own®
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